Sunday, April 16, 2006
well let's see. these two days i found out certain things. and well i have to admit that i do have mixed feelings. and it's just me. i wish i can be like diana. the way she said "i just cut and poof. cut and poof." i wish i can do that too. but instead all i do is just drag one whole long rope along wherever i go. and i think it's about time that i do some serious thinking about all these. that i seriously seriously think i should do the
"cut and poof" thingy. if not it'll be unfair for certain people.
and honestly sometimes i think about it i don't feel too good. and it's just my stupid big fat
EGO. and this got to stop. it's not fair. not fair to them, not fair to pple around me. why do i have to be so freaking egoistic? OMG. and that's why i never managed to do this
"cut and poof" thingy. and maybe also cos i really treasure their friendship. i want to remain friends so so badly yet somewhere in my heart i know that it's quite hard, and rather impossible especially in the near future. somehow somewhere, it got to stop.
but then again, i know if i ask my heart deep down, search deep down, i know that i am truly happy for them. to be able to find their other one. finally or not, they did. and i think and i hope because of this reason, i will slowly let them go cos i know they are safe now. they are happy now. and i'm not responsible for them anymore. i have my own life, and i have my special someone that i want to care for, to love and to treat right. :)
from this day on, i will let go. and i know you may never read esp you two. but if you ever do, i give you my blessings and wish you the very best. i wish you happiness from the bottom of my heart. and hope you find the right girl. it's been 2 years and 3 years. how time flies, but i guess it's really about time.
tomorrow i will be meeting
you. and i think this is probably what i want to tell you. and i hope one day,
i really really hope, that we will become friends again. the best of friends. and
just friends. and you'll always have a special special place in my heart. you taught me so much, and you were truly a big part in my life. and especially you i think now that you've met someone, i think that if you ask me, i'm actually definitely more happy than whatever stupid feelings i have. i know how much you wanted this. and i'm sorry for everything. and i will always remember what you taught me about God. and like what you said, believe that God has His plans. and i respect that. things happen for a reason. thanks for being that pillar once. and thanks for looking out for my family still. i really do appreciate it.
and as for
you. all i wish for you is to grow up. haha. :P i think i have said enough. you are different from many others. and the most unstable person (you know what i mean). and i think between you and all, i'm the most unhappy with whatever you're doing, simply cos you keep making childish, silly mistakes. but i think really enough. i was flipping through, and i saw some stuff. yeah so she really did turn up. and i'm happy for you. i hope you know what you are doing. i'm not going to care anymore. am really washing my hands off. (OMG i really hope hope hope man. i duno how many times i have said this. lol.) well i think i'll make it clearer. i'm washing my hands off you and her. :D yeah that's better. hehe. but as for you and me, let fate decide. if we are meant to speak to each again, just as friends, then let it be. but i know then, that all you'll ever be it's just as a friend. and honestly, you have been one of the bestest friend ever. more so than a partner. and i'm glad that i made this choice right from day one. and wish it will remain that way. well i think i have said enough to you, just promise you'll take care of yourself. don't screw up, cos i think you can make it. and don't get yourself hurt too. :)
lastly, today is Easter. :) i love Jesus. hehe. :D and
HAPPY EASTER everyone!! hehe. :D
S ranted at 4:56 pm |
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